Unit 2: Gun Control - Intro. Paragraph

Gun Control: Pop Quiz #2

Foundation: Get the facts first with scholarly sources (Journals)

Priscilla Laguna

ENG 2105

Dr. Gill

Pro #1 Journal

18 October 2021

“The best writing is rewriting”: 2 Drafts, 0 Tutorials, 0 Teacher Conference

Rowhani-Rahbar, Ali, et al. “Income Inequality and Firearm Homicide in the US: A County-Level Cohort Study.” Injury Prevention, vol. 25, no. Suppl 1, 2019, pp. i25–i30., https://doi.org/10.1136/injuryprev-2018-043080.

Key quote: “Our findings suggest that policies addressing macrosocial forces such as those which reduce the gap between the rich and the poor (e.g., earned income tax credit, universal basic income) also deserve further considerations to reduce firearm violence” (Rowhani-Rahbar et al. 30).

(Provocative Title) The Correlation Between Socioeconomic Factors and Gun Violence

(Unity/Topic Sentence) Rowhani-Rahbar and his colleagues decided to extend a study made previously by other researchers to examine the relationship between income inequality and gun violence in the United States. (Adequate Development/Body) It is a known fact that income inequality has been increasing since the 1970s. With this in mind, Rowhani-Rahbar and others have taken in interest in investigating whether or not this factor has affected the recent popularity of gun violence in America. These researchers based their study on creating models, or visual representations, using the Gini Index, a measurement of income inequality, used beforehand by Kennedy and colleagues who investigated gun violence during the years of 1990 to 2000. Taking the study further with more contemporary data from 2005 to 2015, Rowhani-Rahbar et al. collected statistics of firearm homicide rates per county in each state, except for Alaska and Hawaii, from the CDC and categorized the numbers into subgroups based on race and ethnicity. As for data in income equality, a County-Level Deprivation Index was comprised from Census information. The results of this study found that counties with the highest measured income inequality also experienced the highest rates of firearm homicide overall. The reason that Rowhani-Rahbar and his colleagues gave to explain this conclusion has to do with the relationship between community trust and income inequality. Communities with higher income inequality see a decrease in trust among their members. This leads to a loss of social buffers or group memberships such as church groups and community programs that help maintain social order in the community. Therefore, these communities become disorganized and experience more gun violence. (Coherence/Conclusion) Based on these findings, socioeconomic factors should be included for consideration in forming gun policy.

Priscilla Laguna

ENG 2105

Dr. Gill

Pro #2 Journal

29 September 2021

“The best writing is rewriting”: 1 Draft, 0 Tutorials, 0 Teacher Conference

Jamieson, Patrick E., and Daniel Romer. "The Association Between the Rise of Gun Violence in Popular US Primetime Television Dramas and Homicides Attributable to Firearms, 2000-2018." PLoS ONE, vol. 16, no. 3, 17 Mar. 2021, p. e0247780. Gale In Context: Opposing Viewpoints, link.gale.com/apps/doc/A655343558/OVIC?u=los53368&sid=bookmark-OVIC&xid=3b6697c4. Accessed 29 Sept. 2021.

Key quote: “The positive relation between relative amount of TV violence involving guns and actual homicides due to firearms, especially among youth, is consistent with the hypothesis that entertainment media are contributing to the normative acceptance of guns for violent purposes” (Jamieson and Romer 1).

(Provocative Title) Monkey See, Monkey Do

(Unity/Topic Sentence) This article written by Jamieson and Romer argues that the increase of gun violence shown on television is a contributing factor to the increase of violent gun behavior among youths today. (Adequate Development/Body) Before presenting the results of the study, Jamieson and his colleague state their hypothesis that media entertainment plays a big role in the increase of gun violence. The setup of their experiment consisted of choosing a total of 33 television shows among the genres of medical, legal, and police shows and studying them over a period from 2000 to 2018. The researchers came up with a type of tallying system taking note of whether a gun violence was present in each five minute increment of the show’s episodes. They compared the collected data to statistics on homicide rates over the same period from 2000 to 2018 from three different age groups: 15 to 24 years of age, 25 to 34 years of age, and over 35 years of age. As a result, “Gun violence rose from 4.5% in 2000 to 9.0% in 2018” and the frequency of gun violence in television shows increased from 21.1% in 2000 to 33.3% in 2018 (Jamieson and Romer, para. 12, 13). After plotting all of the data points, the overall trend indicated that both gun violence among teens and in television show scenes increased proportionately. The conclusions drawn from these numbers were that television shows have contributed to normalizing the ownership and use of guns to the point that it is more common to find adolescents using them as their preferred method of violence. (Coherence/Conclusion) Although Jamieson and Romer acknowledge that the media may not be the sole cause of gun violence, they argue that it is an important piece to the puzzle.

Priscilla Laguna

ENG 2105

Dr. Gill

Pro #3 Journal

29 September 2021

“The best writing is rewriting”: 1 Draft, 0 Tutorials, 0 Teacher Conference

Kim, Daniel. “Social Determinants of Health in Relation to Firearm-Related Homicides in the United States: A Nationwide Multilevel Cross-Sectional Study.” PLOS Medicine, vol. 16, no. 12, 2019, https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1002978.

Key quote: “This study finds that the rich-poor gap, level of citizens' trust in institutions, economic opportunity, and public welfare spending are all related to firearm homicide rates in the US” (Kim, para. 3).

(Provocative Title) An Opposing Relationship between Social Standing and Gun Violence

(Unity/Topic Sentence) As a researcher form the Department of Health Sciences at Northeastern University in Massachusetts, Daniel Kim based his study on social determinants such as education, public welfare spending, social mobility, and economic opportunity to determine whether these factors have any correlation to homicide shootings taken place during the year 2015. (Adequate Development/Body) Kim begins by explaining the setup of the experimenting referencing the variety of sources used to gather data on each of these social determinants. In order to make sense of these numerical values, Kim applies the data to numerous mathematical models and equations. Analysis of these models led to the conclusion that some of these social determinants have a greater connection with firearm homicide rates than others. Specifically, an increase in welfare spending, institutional social capital, and social mobility had the most direct inverse relationship with gun violence. In comparison with other studies made in the past, another plausible cause of gun violence is the distrust between residents and the local police for protection. This leads to more people acquiring guns for protection and resulting in a higher probability of the use of gun violence for self-defense. One solution that Kim proposes to decrease gun violence in the United States is to implement income policies such as taxing the rich that will allow those with low income to climb higher in respect to the social determinants. (Coherence/Conclusion) In his conclusion, Kim acknowledges that factors that he investigated do not form the complete picture of the underlying causes of gun violence; therefore, further students need to be conducted.

Priscilla Laguna

ENG 2105

Dr. Gill

Con #1 Journal

29 September 2021

“The best writing is rewriting”: 1 Draft, 0 Tutorials, 0 Teacher Conference

Metzl, Jonathan M., and Kenneth T. MacLeish. “Mental Illness, Mass Shootings, and the Politics of American Firearms.” American Journal of Public Health, vol. 105, no. 2, Feb. 2015, pp. 240–249., https://doi.org/10.2105/ajph.2014.302242.

Key quote: “Even the US Supreme Court, which in 2008 strongly affirmed a broad right to bear arms, endorsed prohibitions on gun ownership ‘by felons and the mentally ill’ because of their special potential for violence” (Metzl and MacLeish 241).

(Provocative Title) The Psychology Behind Gun Violence

(Unity/Topic Sentence) In comparison to the other three pro articles mentioned above, Metzl and MacLeish address both sides of the issue by providing reasons why some may argue in opposition to my stance that mental illness is not the sole cause of gun violence followed by evidence that does support my stance. (Adequate Development/Body) The article begins with plausible reasons as to why people conclude that mental illness is behind all types of gun violence. Throughout history, some shooters were showing signs of erratic behavior or even seeing a psychiatrist prior to the shooting events. This has led to both state and federal legislation to implement laws that require psychiatrist to report anyone showing signs of possible violent behavior. For example, the Unites States Supreme Court issued that both criminals and the mentally ill should not be allowed to own guns because of their violent tendency. Intermittently, Metzl and MacLeish add in other scholarly sources that suggest otherwise. For example, historical evidence, especially during the 1960s and 1970s, shows that the misconception of mental illness as the only cause of gun violence is due to racial prejudice and politics. (Coherence/Conclusion) Although the main standpoint of the authors from this article is in pro with my opinion, they do offer reasons as to why the opposing side would suggest that mental illness causes gun violence.

Priscilla Laguna

ENG 2105

Dr. Gill

Con #2 Journal

29 September 2021

“The best writing is rewriting”: 1 Draft, 0 Tutorials, 0 Teacher Conference

Swanson, Jeffrey W., et al. “Gun Violence, Mental Illness, and Laws That Prohibit Gun Possession: Evidence from Two Florida Counties.” Health Affairs, vol. 35, no. 6, 2016, pp. 1067–1075., https://doi.org/10.1377/hlthaff.2016.0017.

Key quote: “If gun violence is thought of more broadly as a public health problem that includes suicide,12 then people with serious mental illnesses-and the actions of the behavioral health systems in which many are served-become quite relevant” (Swanson et al., para. 5).

(Provocative Title) Florida Case Study Correlates Mental Illness with Suicidal Gun Violence

(Unity/Topic Sentence) Swanson et al. focuses their attention on mental illness as a significant cause in suicide by gun violence. (Adequate Development/Body) The study conducted by Swanson and his colleagues acknowledges that overall, mental illness is not the only factor contributing to homicide gun violence; nevertheless, they conducted an experiment to see whether mental illness plays more direct role in suicidal gun violence. The sample population of the study was comprised of people diagnosed with severe mental illnesses in two counties in Florida over the years of 2002 to 2011. Data was gathered about these individuals that fell into the categories of psychiatric evaluations, civil and criminal court accusations, arrests due to gun violence, incarcerations, and vital records such as date and cause of death. Under Florida’s laws, a person cannot possess a firearm for a court order inpatient hospitalization from a judicial proceeding, a not guilty verdict based on insanity, any indication of incompetency to stand trial, or mental incapacity to handle one’s affairs. With these factors in mind, the result of the experiment found that arrest for violent gun crimes for people who were not prohibited to have a gun were at one point detained under the Florida Mental Health Act of 1971. Individuals who used gun violence as their method of committing suicide had an involuntary hospitalization on suspicions of mental illness. (Coherence/Conclusion) In turn, this information shows that most of the people evaluated in the sample who were detained for evaluation on their mental health were let go without any restriction against their possession of a gun.

Priscilla Laguna

ENG 2105

Dr. Gill

Con #3 Journal

29 September

“The best writing is rewriting”: 1 Draft, 0 Tutorials, 0 Teacher Conference

Swanson, Jeffrey W. "Redirecting the Mental Health and Gun Violence Conversation from Mass Shootings to Suicide." Psychiatric Services (Washington, D.C.), vol. 69, no. 12, 2018, pp. 1198-1199. ProQuest, http://proxy.library.cpp.edu/login?url=https://www-proquest-com.proxy.library.cpp.edu/scholarly-journals/redirecting-mental-health-gun-violence/docview/2132225031/se-2?accountid=10357, doi:http://dx.doi.org.proxy.library.cpp.edu/10.1176/appi.ps.201800365.

Key quote: “mental health stakeholders should take the lead in bringing suicide to the fore as a crucial, underacknowledged dimension of firearm mortality” (Swanson 1198).

(Provocative Title) Gun Violence Shines the Spotlight on Suicide

(Unity/Topic Sentence) Swanson’s take on mental illness as the cause of suicidal gun violence is reiterated in this journal article. (Adequate Development/Body) Although he acknowledges that homicide gun violence is not governed only by mental illness, he argues that most suicides involving a gun are the result of a person suffering from mental illness. Swanson quotes statistics that indicate almost 90% of suicide attempts were by means of a gun. The increasingly easy access to guns today in America raises only contributes negatively to the success of these suicides. (Coherence/Conclusion) The proposed solution to reduce the use of gun violence in suicidal individuals who suffer from mental illness is to reduce the facility of obtaining a firearm.

Priscilla Laguna

ENG 2105

Dr. Gill

Con #3 Journal

18 October 2021

“The best writing is rewriting”: 2 Draft, 0 Tutorials, 0 Teacher Conference

The White House. “Now Is the Time: The President's Plan to Protect Our Children and Our Communities by Reducing Gun Violence.” Whitehouse.gov, 2013, https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/sites/default/files/docs/wh_now_is_the_time_full.pdf.

Key quote: “Three-quarters of mental illnesses appear by the age of 24, yet less than half of children with diagnosable mental health problems receive treatment. And several recent mass shootings, including those at Newtown, Tucson, Aurora, and Virginia Tech, were perpetrated by students or other young people” (The White House 13).

(Provocative Title) Federal Government Action Puts an Emphasis on Improving Mental Health

(Unity/Topic Sentence) This document released from the White House outlines the plan by former President Obama to address gun violence in the United States after the Sand Hook Elementary School shooting in 2012. (Adequate Development/Body) The plan consists of four steps: increase background checks, ban military weapons and high-capacity magazine guns, increase school security, and provide more access to and affordable mental health services. The first two steps focus on putting more strict policies on who can and cannot have access to guns and putting forth monetary initiatives to have more states participate in sharing information consisting of gun crimes. The third step, school security, makes a point that the school’s need to create a safe community built on trust between students, teachers, campus officers, and health workers. The main reason for this is that a well-developed relationship among students and the rest of the school community will help in identifying and addressing as soon as possible any signs of mental illness or mental instability from any student before it turns into anything of grave consequence. Lastly, the White House gives some alarming facts about young ones who are affected by a mental illness do not have access to the help they need. This also extends to the rest of the population. The plan of action that the Obama administration seeks to achieve is to train teachers to identify and help students who are showing sings of mental instability and to implement the Affordable Care Act. This program will require health insurances to cover the costs for patients to receive necessary and quality mental health services. (Coherence/Conclusion) Based on the plan outlined by the Obama administration, there are reasons why people opposing my view would view mental illness as the sole cause of gun violence in America.

Brainstorm:

Priscilla Laguna

ENG 2105

Dr. Gill

Prewriting on the topic of gun violence in America

29 September 2021

“The best writing is rewriting”: 1 Draft, 0 Tutorials, 0 Teacher Conference

Step 1: Who is your audience?

My audience is people who are sincerely interested in knowing the underlying causes of gun violence in America. Additionally, those who oppose my viewpoint are included with the opinion that mental illness is the sole cause of gun violence.

Step 2: What is your purpose?

My purpose is to correct the popular misconception that gun violence is dependent on only one factor, specifically mental illness. I want to broaden my audience’s opinion by convincing them that the causes of gun violence are more complex.

Step 3: What is your premise?

My premise is that there are other intricate variables other than mental illness that explain the frequency of gun violence in America. These factors include the violence portrayed in the entertainment media has normalized the use of guns, social determinants such as the rich-poor gap and distrust in the police’s ability to provide protection against crime (increasing fear of crime), and easy access to firearms.

Step 4: What is your chosen quotation?

“This study finds that the rich-poor gap, level of citizens' trust in institutions, economic opportunity, and public welfare spending are all related to firearm homicide rates in the US” (Kim 2).

Rough Draft:

Priscilla Laguna

ENG 2105

Dr. Gill

Prewriting on the topic of gun violence in America

29 September 2021

“The best writing is rewriting”: 1 Draft, 0 Tutorials, 0 Teacher Conference

(Provocative Title) Mental Illness: The Blindman’s Buff of Gun Violence

(Hook) Concerning gun violence, Wickizer and colleagues, academics on the topic of public health at Ohio State University, argue, “Our study reinforces what many in public health recognize: There is no single solution to the complex problems of firearm death and firearm suicide” (Wickizer et al.). (Bridge) Based on their findings, Wickizer and colleagues conclude that gun violence cannot be easily explained by a single variable. (Divided thesis/stasis sentence: Opponent’s claim) Although the news media tends to correlate mental illness as the basis of gun violence in America, (Rhetor’s main claim) further evidence suggests that mental illness is not the sole cause of gun violence in the United States because (Reason/Support 1) violence portrayed in the entertainment media has normalized the use of guns, (Reason/Support 2) social determinants such as the rich-poor gap and distrust in the police has led to people taking justice into their own hands, (Reason/Support 3) and, now more than ever, people have the simplicity of purchasing a firearm.

Suggested Edits and Editing Log:

1. Principle: Wordy: Eliminate unnecessary words; strive for conciseness.

Error: The appositive in my hook can be shortened to give a more direct but, at the same time, detailed description of the relationship between the authors of the quote and the topic.

Original: Concerning gun violence, Wickizer and colleagues, academics on the topic of public health at Ohio State University, argue, “Our study reinforces what many in public health recognize: There is no single solution to the complex problems of firearm death and firearm suicide” (Wickizer et al.).

Revision: Regarding gun violence, Wickizer and colleagues, public health collegiates at Ohio State University, argue, “Our study reinforces what many in public health recognize: There is no single solution to the complex problems of firearm death and firearm suicide” (Wickizer et al.).

2. Principle: W: Word choice. The word chosen is either inappropriate for the context or not specific enough.

Error: The connotation of the word I chose (concerning) was misplaced in context for introducing the quote of the hook sentence.

Original: Concerning gun violence, …

Revision: Regarding gun violence, …

3. Principle: 1st Element of Aristotelian Rhetoric: The introduction paragraph, comprised of a total of 3 sentences, includes a hook, a bridge, and a divided stasis/thesis sentence with the opponent’s claim and 3 supporting reasons for the rhetor’s claim.

Error: Support #2 should focus on either social determinants or distrust in the police. Having both could disorganize the writing structure.

Original: Although the news media tends to correlate mental illness as the basis of gun violence in America, further evidence suggests that mental illness is not the sole cause of gun violence in the United States because violence portrayed in the entertainment media has normalized the use of guns, social determinants such as the rich-poor gap and distrust in the police has led to people taking justice into their own hands, and, now more than ever, people have the simplicity of purchasing a firearm.

Revision: Although the news media tends to correlate mental illness as the basis of gun violence in America, further evidence suggests that mental illness is not the sole cause of gun violence in the United States because violence portrayed in the entertainment media has normalized the use of guns, social determinants have led people to taking justice into their own hands, and, now more than ever, people have the simplicity of purchasing a firearm.

4. Principle: 1st Element of Aristotelian Rhetoric: The introduction paragraph, comprised of a total of 3 sentences, includes a hook, a bridge, and a divided stasis/thesis sentence with the opponent’s claim and 3 supporting reasons for the rhetor’s claim.

Error: The key quote that I choose for my hook was not taken from a scholarly article; therefore, I need to find another article and keq quote to replace it.

Revision: Regarding gun violence, Daniel Kim, a public health researcher, argues, “This study finds that the rich-poor gap, level of citizens' trust in institutions, economic opportunity, and public welfare spending are all related to firearm homicide rates in the US” (Kim 2).

Best Rewrite

Priscilla Laguna

ENG 2105

Dr. Gill

Prewriting on the topic of gun violence in America

18 October 2021

“The best writing is rewriting”: 2 Drafts, 2 WC Tutorials (Jason Leclair), 1 Peer Mentor (Robert), 1 Teacher Conference

(Provocative Title) Mental Illness: The Blindman’s Bluff of Gun Violence

(Hook) Given rising homicide rates, Daniel Kim, a public health researcher, argues, “This study finds that the rich-poor gap, level of citizens' trust in institutions, economic opportunity, and public welfare spending are all related to firearm homicide rates in the US” (Kim 2). (Bridge) Kim, based on his findings, concludes that gun violence cannot be easily explained by a single variable. (Divided thesis/stasis sentence: Opponent’s claim informed by 3 scholarly sources) Although the news media tends to correlate mental illness as the basis of gun violence in America, (Rhetor’s main claim informed by 3 scholarly sources) further evidence suggests that mental illness is not the sole cause of gun violence in the United States because (Reason/Support 1) violence portrayed in the entertainment media has normalized the use of guns, (Reason/Support 2) social determinants have led people to take justice into their own hands, (Reason/Support 3) and the simplicity of purchasing a firearm has exponentially increased gun ownership.